How to be Heard and Understood

 

Eight Steps to Great Communication.      

No matter if your audience of one or thousands, or whether your communication is spoken or written, use these principles so that your message is received and remembered. 

1. Know your audience.
2. Balance what you want to say with what they want to hear.
3. Use simple language.
4. Strategically decide whether to write or speak your message.
5. Share personal anecdotes and illustrations.
6. Start strong and end with emotion.
7. Preview, present and recap your message.
8. Use word pictures or other visuals to make it memorable.

Doing so will help achieve your desired result: message received and understood. 

 

"The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply." Roy T. Bennett

Will You Be Remembered?

 

Make it Memorable.  

One of the best ways to help people remember your message is through using a word picture.  Winston Churchill did this when he described a communist world that lay behind an “iron curtain.” Hillary Clinton speculated about a “vast, right-wing conspiracy.”  President George W. Bush spoke of an “axis of evil.”   Word pictures are effective because they grab and direct attention and lock thoughts into our memory.  A call to action can be greatly enhanced by the creative use of a word picture. 
 
Other visual devices are also effective in helping us communicate.  An often repeated statistic states that: people remember 40% of what they hear and see, 30% of what they see, 20% of what they hear, and only 10% of what they read. Always reinforce your spoken or written message with something that evokes a mental memory, either through a word picture or a visual image.

"Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people."  Jim Rohn

Three Times is a Charm

 Tell them, Tell them, Tell them.

A savvy public speaker once shared his formula for effective communication with me.  He said, “Tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them you told them.”  In other words: 

• Preview the message: 

Summarize what you have to say and why it is important.

• Present the message: 

Give the body or details of your message.

• Recap the message: 

Briefly repeat your message and restate its importance.

Repetition is critical to effective communication because, even though we have two ears, we still miss a lot.

"The art of communication is the language of leadership."  James Humes 

How to Get Your Message Across

 

Begin Strongly and End with Emotion. 

When you communicate, jump in with both feet with your first words.  It’s o.k. to appear totally sold-out to your message. Enthusiasm demands attention. Don’t worry if you appear a little fanatical.  Remember, a fanatic is only someone who believes in something a little more strongly than you do.  The reason people respond to such passion is because much of life is so predictable and mundane. Make them feel alive!  Oh, they may think you’re a little nuts -- but that never stopped me.
 
As you close your talk or write the last paragraph speak from your heart.  Tell them why this is so important to you.  Tell them why this is the right action and why you are committed to it no matter what it takes.  Let them know how you feel, why it is worth taking the risk and how things will be better.  Your passion and emotion will motivate your audience to action.  

"Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Powerful Storytelling

Share Personal Anecdotes and Illustrations. 

If you want to get the attention of an audience and hold their attention, then tell a story. Storytelling is the most powerful means of communication known to man because it’s personal and memorable. 

Storytelling was critical before people could read and write. It still runs deep in our DNA. 

Similar to storytelling, sharing a personal antidote or illustration can also engage an audience.  This can endear you to the listener because it makes you more real. The listener thinks, “He’s just like me.”

Whether storytelling, sharing anecdotes or illustrations, the result is that the audience’s defenses go down; their attention goes up and they will absorb more of your communication.

"Look at any great enterprise and invariably its mission drives its strategy, not the other way around.  And it all starts with a story.”   Greg Satell

  

Message Understood

 

Use the Right Method of Communication
 
Should what you have to say be delivered in person or through a letter, memo, email or text? 

It is best to communicate in-person when you are trying to persuade, when you want an immediate indication of response, when you are praising performance or when dealing with a matter of discipline.   
 
It is best to communicate in writing when you have a complicated matter to present, when the audience will need time for evaluation, when you are setting policy, or when an in-person meeting is impossible.
 
No matter if we have an audience of one or thousands, whether our communication is spoken or written, take care in how you communicate so our message is received.  It is critical to know the audience, balance what we have to say with what they want to hear, use simple language and use the right method of communication. Doing so will help achieve our desired result: Message Received and Understood.

"People will appreciate your thoughtful means of communication, and will be more likely to respond positively to you."  Alison Doyle

Keep it Simple...

 

Use Simple Language

Why do we use big words?  Do they make us feel smart?  Do they cover-up insecurity?  Whatever the reason, using complicated language to demonstrate competence is our enemy.  It is a certain way to lose the audience’s attention.  Here are three things to keep in mind when considering which words to use.

• Big words are out. All great speeches, advertisements and modern persuasive writing use common everyday language.
• An audience adores someone who can make something complicated seem very simple.  If you have a complex or technical message to communicate first try it out on the most junior person you can to evaluate if it communicates.
• Get to the main point fast.  If you don’t, you’ll lose your audience. 

"Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite."  C. S. Lewis

What are the Needs of your Audience?

 

Balance What You Have to Say with What They Want to Hear.

I was running a publishing company when a mentor told me “George, communication occurs when you balance what you want to say with what the audience wants to hear.”   He was pointing out the problem that when we prepare for a one-on-one meeting, a speech, or written communication we tend to focus on what we want to say and what we want the receiver to do - to the exclusion of considering their needs.   
 
Your message will fail if you neglect to take into account the needs of the reader or listener.  Ask yourself: what are their needs and what is it that would make them more successful?  Put yourself in their shoes and consider: how does the message sound, what’s in it for them, how does it improve their life and how are they inspired?   Consider testing the message on a select few just in case you have missed something that could derail you.  

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.  Peter Drucker

 

Did You Read the Room?

 

Know Your Audience.

Do you know your audience?  Really?  Who are the key people you want to persuade?  Have you had casual conversation to assess their temperature before rolling out your message? Have you investigated their needs?  Do you know the condition of their personal lives?  All of these questions and more are critical to being an effective communicator. 
 
Haven’t you been on the receiving end of an ill-researched message that you either did not or would not receive?  How about the business owner who, due to tough economic times, has to cut his employees pay and a few days later asks his employees for donations to a pet charity.  Consider an employee whose boss asks her to take on greater responsibility and work extra hours without considering that she is going through a divorce and dealing with a serious physical situation. In each case, the one who had something to say did not know the needs and condition of their audience.  Not only did they not achieve their objective, but their insensitivity likely damaged his audience.
 
Before we communicate, we must do the work necessary to know our audience.  Test the water first by talking over your message with someone you trust.  They may have insight to some of the sensitivities of the audience.   
           

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." George Bernard Shaw 

T0 Tell the Truth

 

Great Leaders Give Responsibility and Authority and They Want the Truth

A good leader recognizes that, once responsibility is given, everyone needs the authority and independence to make decisions.  Without authority and a measure of freedom people are typically unsuccessful and become frustrated and discouraged.

Good leaders also what you to tell them the truth, not what they want to hear.  They value the input of their team.  Many times the best ideas and greatest wisdom comes from those working in the trenches.  Great leaders ask their team what they think and take their ideas seriously. 

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen."  Winston Churchill

Are People Better Off After You Leave?

 

Great Leaders Affirm Those They Lead. 

Great leaders tell people about their positive qualities and praise their accomplishments.  This kind of affirmation raises people’s performance to the next level. 

Great leaders place people ahead of results, direct their improvement, and deal with problems swiftly.  Tell your team members that you believe in them.

"...everyone needs encouragement...and is changed by it."  J.C. Maxwell

Are You a Great Leader?

 

Great Leaders are the Chief Cheerleader of the Vision.

Great leaders keep a group focused on vision. Jesus understood the importance of vision when He said, "Can one blind person lead another? Won't they both fall into a ditch?” Leaders motivate others by sharing their enthusiasm for the vision.  The contagious nature of their enthusiasm raises everyone spirits as it spreads throughout the team. 

"Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion."   Jack Welch

There are No Invisible Leaders

 

Great Leaders are Highly Visible

A great leader takes the time to get to know and listen to those for whom they are responsible.  This is more than having an open-door policy.  Great leaders circulate through their team several times a day encouraging, clarifying, and affirming them.

"Being a good listener is absolutely critical to being a good leader; you have to listen to the people who are on the front line."  Richard Branson

Never Ceasing Wars

 

What's Being Resolved Got To Do With It?
 
In the dark days of World War II all of Britain was hanging on the resolve of Sir Winston Churchill. Churchill, however, was a damaged person no different that you and I. Did you know that Churchill had to overcome many limitations, such as a serious speech impediment and an outright panic concerning public speaking?  Sounds like he had some resolving of his own to do, too.
 
Being resolved results from analyzing something complex into a simpler form.  In doing so we remove confusion.  Resolution begins with analyzing, understanding and then defining our position.  It is not good enough to take someones word for it.  To be resolved we must do the hard work of doing our own research and coming to our own conclusion.  Once we do this we own our belief and can hold our ground and not move from it. 
 
Here is an example.  Which politician’s position on how to fix immigration do you believe?  I would suggest you believe none of them.  If you want to become resolved on what it will take to have a working immigration system you will have to do some serious reading and analysis.  Once you do, common threads will be revealed and you will achieve understanding.  At that point, you can define your belief and be resolved that you really know what needs to happen.  Then if someone challenges you, you will have the understanding and strength to stand resolved.
 
Yes, the 21^stcentury is a scary place.  Maybe you are facing something and you are scared just like the British were. Perhaps you are sensing that the equivalent of an invading force is about to be unleashed on you.  Here is the plan: 

• Be Courageous: Do the right thing no matter what.
• Be Cheerful: It will make you and others feel better.
• Be Resolute: Analyze, understand and define the matter and stand firm.

 
Like a lot of the things we worry about, the Germans never did invade England.  While they bombed her and terrorized the British with randomly aimed buzz bombs, the courage, cheerfulness and resolve of the British (and the fact that America took their side in the fight) brought them through.  It will do the same for you and me no matter what we may be facing.  

"Be sure to put your feet in the right place then stand firm."  Abraham Lincoln

Cheerfulness at a Time Like This?

 

What is Being Cheerful all About?
 
Early American author William Fender is credited with the quote “Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious,” however, I think he is missing the point.

When I was in the first grade our music teacher, Mrs. Holbrook, taught us some songs that we presented one night to our parents.  One song was called ”Good Morning Merry Sunshine”.  It went like this:

“Good morning merry sunshine, how did you wake so soon?  You scared the little stars away and shined away the moon.  I saw you to go to sleep last night before I ceased my playing.  How did you get way over there and where have you been staying?”
 
My father must have like the song because he proceeded to wake my brother and me up every morning for several years singing it at the top of his lungs.  While his early morning cheerfulness felt obnoxious at the time, it did teach a powerful lesson for starting the day with cheerfulness.
 
Just like you have to decide to be courageous, you have to decide to be cheerful too.  Do you think my dad felt cheerful every morning as he sang that song?  Of course not!  But I have learned that cheerfulness is contagious.  At several places where I have been employed I have been known to walk the halls singing the song made famous by Fred Rodgers of “Mr. Rogers Neighborhood” that goes “It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…” for the purpose of raising the spirit of my team.  They would at first look at me as if I was nuts but in a few moments their cheerful meters were pegging higher.

Author Joseph Addison puts it this way,  "Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body."  That is what being cheerful is all about.

"Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind."  Aristotle

Values Drive Courage

 

What is Being Courageous all About?

We have heard it stated repeatedly that courage is not the absence of fear.  Those in war are the first to admit that they feel fear when they acted with courage.

Courage comes in two forms.  Physical courage includes things like the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation. Moral courage can be described as the ability to act rightly in the face of popular opposition, shame, scandal, or discouragement.  It is in these circumstances that courage enables us to stand firm.

The historical biblical account of Caleb and Joshua recounts their reconnaissance mission into the Promised Land.  They saw the same giants as the others who were with them but responded with courage.  Later, Joshua, as he was preparing to lead his army to fight these same giants, was repeatedly reminded to not be fearful but to act with courage.

Acting with courage is your decision to do the right thing regardless of the physical or moral cost.  You do this because of what you value in life.  

• If you value freedom, then you will fight for it.
• If you value your family, then you will protect them. 
• If you value justice, then you will stand up for the falsely accused even if you are his or her only advocate.

When we are courageous, we do the right thing regardless of the possible cost because we are led by our values.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."  Winston Churchill

Who is Our First Enemy

 

We Have Enemies and a Secret Weapon

Really?  Yes, and the first enemy is ourselves.  We are our own worst enemy when we fail to properly process the many forms of resistance we experience in our lives. 

Friends and associates can also hold us back.  Sometimes they become uncomfortable when we are willing to take reasonable risks that they are not willing to take.  They may try to discourage us in order to remain comfortable with their own state of mediocrity.  This is a great contrast to those in our life who encourage us when we make difficult decisions.  Those are our real friends.

There is also spiritual resistance.  This kind of resistance is unseen but clearly felt. The Apostle Paul described it in the Bible when he wrote, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  Paul makes it very clear that we deal with a warfare that is not against people, but against the spiritual powers that operate behind the scenes through people.

So, what is this resistance all about? It's just like football when every yard gained in the red-zone comes with great difficulty.  We all face our own 300 pound linemen, who is intent on seeing that we don't reach the end-zone.  That formidable character may take the form of being disappointed with life, tired and wanting a rest, having lost our vision for the future and an array of other formidable obstacles.  Going all the way in life is not easy.  Some tragically stop having made it 80% of the way. 

Don’t wimp out on the last 20 yards.  Remember, you have a secret weapon for facing down obstacles.  It’s your natural ability that is now combined with experience and influence.  As my friend leading a seminar told us, “You have leverage!”  So, take it and push back on the resistance!

"The art of war teaches us to rely not on the likelihood of the enemy's not coming, but on our own readiness to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking, but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable."  Sun Tzu

How to Regain Vision

 

We Lose Vision

Helen Keller is quoted as saying, “The only thing worse than being blind is having sight, but no vision.”  Only months before her second birthday Helen became blind and deaf as the result of sickness.  However, she defied the odds and became a popular author and lecturer.  Although she lacked sight and hearing, she had a clear vision for her life. 

It is easy to lose our vision for the future when we plod through life trying to make a buck and meet the needs of those around us.  Life can become drudgery, predictable and inward focused.  Unlike Helen Keller, we might decide to play it safe and live an apathetic life.  While it may not be possible for some to regain sight, with effort, everyone can regain vision and hope for the future.

If you lose your vision for your life or your organization find it again by asking yourself questions like these:
What is the greatest benefit that I can offer others?
If money were no object what would I like most to do in life?
Is there something that must be done that I don't see anyone doing?

"True morality consists not in following the beaten track but in finding out the true path for ourselves and fearlessly following it."  Mahatma Gandhi

When You Hit A Wall

 

We Get Tired and Think We Need a Rest

I will not deny that on occasion the press of life gets so great that we legitimately need a forced rest.  Most of the time, however, we are like a long - distance runner who “hits a wall.”  Marathon runners reach a point halfway through the race where they believe that they can go no further.  Everything in them wants to stop.  Runners have learned, however, to push through this phase of the race.  Seemingly, from out of nowhere comes a burst of energy, the wall crumbles and they are able to finish the race. 

It is that way for those of us who run the race of life, as well.  Yes, we are tired, but just on the other side of our desire to rest there is a burst of energy that will take us all the way into the end-zone.  F. Scott Fitzgerald said it like this, “There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.”  Be one who doggedly pursues past "the wall."

“There are only the pursued, the pursuing, the busy and the tired.” F.Scott Fitzgerald

How to Deal with Disappointment

 We All Carry Disappointments   

 

Life takes its toll.  If we lack a right perspective, disappointments and setbacks accumulate over time and can cause depression and an inability to have hope for the future.  Franciscan author Richard Rohr put it this way, “Until we walk with despair, and still have hope, we will not know that our hope was not just hope in ourselves, in our own successes, in our power to make a difference, in our image of what perfection should be.  We need hope from a much deeper Source. We need a hope larger than ourselves.”… “This very journey is probably the heart of what Jesus came to reveal.”  
 
I couldn't agree more.  When it comes to processing disappointments it is more about where you process them than how you process them.  Where do you process life's disappointments and setbacks? I hope you have a place outside of your "head space" to reflect and draw inspiration. 

Here's how Dr. Martin Luther King suggests we deal with disappointment, "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."   

"There's always failure. And there's always disappointment. And there's always loss. But the secret is learning from the loss, and realizing that none of those holes are vacuums." J. Fox Michael 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

13 Ways to Make the World a Better Place

Consistent 

  

As we conclude our posts on taking the high road let me ask, are you known as someone who is consistent?  Do you hang-in-there and endure with associates who are going through hardship?  Are you a friend in both the good and the bad times?  Do people know they can count on you? 
  
Like me, I suspect you deeply appreciate people who demonstrate the value of consistency. And I am sure that many people would characterize you as someone they can count on.  This value has a profound impact on our productivity and our relationships. 
  
As we strive for the "high road" here is a recommended set of values that I believe ought to govern our behavior in the marketplace and every place: 

• Patience 

• Kindness 

• Celebration 

• Moderation 

• Manners 

• Give, Give, Give 

• Peace 

• Let go 

• Truth 

• Perseverance 

• Positivity 

• Hopeful 

• Consistent  

Let’s make our sliver of creation a little better for those we interact with.  Won’t you join me in demonstrating virtue?   
  
Food for thought: Be a force for good in the marketplace and every place so we make the world a better place. 
   

"It is time to return to core values, time to get back to basics, to self-discipline and respect for the law, to consideration for the others, to accepting responsibility for yourself and your family - and not shuffling it off on other people and the state." John Major