Even if it is not all your fault

7.  Even if it is not all your fault

Sometimes multiple people are involved in creating a problem.  If this is the case, completely define and apologize for your part.  If others who report to you are involved, take full responsibility. 
(To be continued.)

Now is the time

6.  Now is the time

Act quickly.  Yes, be prepared but prepare fast.  Every minute that an offense rests with an individual it goes deeper and deeper.  If you take your time you will make restoration of the relationship more difficult.  If you wait too long it may become impossible to resolve. 
(To be continued.)

No “If I’s”

5.  No “If I’s”

In almost every major political scandal, where an apology is offered, it often goes like this: “If I caused my constituency any concern…”.  The “If I” makes the apology disingenuous.  You either believe you caused pain and concern or not.  So make up your mind and instead say “I know I did this to you and I am sorry.”
Tiger Woods recent apology for his screw-ups was well crafted and delivered perfectly with no “If I’s”.  Woods stated what he did, who he hurt, how it effected them and concluded by saying “I apologize.” 
(To be continued.)

Living out my purpose is like living a dream. Somebody pinch me!

I wanted you to know about some recent changes in my work life that have taken me the better part of a lifetime to arrive at.  I now spend my days helping people discover what they are passionate about and then help them engage in service to others.  This involvement fulfills them and benefits those who have needs.

I carry out this responsibility through several platforms.

My primary focus is as Executive Director of Grace Works Unlimited, Inc.  Grace Works exists to encourage communities in the care of their own.  You may be aware of its most visible project called “Be a Santa to a Senior” where last Christmas over 5000 of our disadvantaged seniors received needed gifts (blankets, socks and the like).  Also, through the coordination of Grace Works, “Senior Wishmakers” recently painted a home of a senior that was still in disrepair several years after it was damaged by Hurricane Charlie.

Our vision for Grace Works is to encourage service to all sectors of our community and to develop a model that can be duplicated in other regions.  In doing so, neighbors will be encouraged and given direction to identify needs and motivated to help their fellow neighbors.

The secondary platforms are both similar in that I lead and facilitate groups of people in discovering their passions and engaging in focused service.  The first curriculum, GPS helps people discover how they are uniquely designed and identify what kind of meaningful service they should engage in.

The second curriculum, “Roundtable” helps individuals, that have achieved high levels of success, learn how they can now involve themselves in work that is truly significant.  Both curricula are taught in discussion and study group formats of 8 to 10 participants each.   In both cases participants discover their distinctive purpose for the next stage of their life and receive coaching for carrying out their passion.

I invite you to join me as a volunteer for Grace Works or as a participant in a GPS or Roundtable group.  Whichever you choose, you will experience a new sense of significance in your life.  Like me, you can be fulfilled living a meaningful life; doing what you do best, for those who are waiting for your help.

Give it a name

4.  Give it a name 

How do you think what you did effected the other person?  You need to go into the conversation with an understanding of how they probably feel.  Be sure to also ask them to clarify their perspective in case you may have overlooked something.  By giving it a name you speak specifically and directly to the damage you caused them. 
(To be continued.)

Keep it isolated

3.  Keep it isolated

You are solely responsible for your actions.  No one makes you do anything. Do not deflect responsibility by implying others had a hand in the situation even if they did.  You must deal solely with what you did. 
(To be continued.)

It’s a sign of strength

2.  It’s a sign of strength

I remember a pastor telling me once that he never apologized because it was a sign of weakness.  How sad. Frankly, not being able to apologize is a sign of weakness and also insecurity.  A secure person can remain strong and still deal with their misdeeds. 
(To be continued.)

15 Baby Steps to a Successful Apology

15 Baby Steps to a Successful Apology

1.  Practice Humility

They do not teach humility in college.  I have yet to see a business seminar offered on the subject.  Looking at most children it is obviously not taught in many homes.  How could something so important in human relationships be so neglected?   The first step in crafting a successful apology is to swallow your pride, put off your embarrassment, cool your anger and recognize what a jerk you have been.  Once you assume that submissive and lowly position you can move forward with a right attitude.
(To be continued.)

Open mouth … insert foot.

Living Means Having to Say You are Sorry

Remember the movie, Love Story and the infamous line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry?”  Two years after that movie premiered, that dialogue was humorously repeated by Barbara Streisand, to its originator Ryan O’Neal in the comedy What’s Up, Doc.  Their conversation went like this:

O’Neal: “I’m sorry.”

Streisand: “But I thought love means never having to say that you are sorry?”

O’Neal: “That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard!”

(To be continued.)

My experience is that living does mean having to say we are sorry.  Whether you open your mouth and insert your foot, stepped in it, blow it, blow up, are insensitive, say a dumb thing, make a careless mistake or are clueless; you need to apologize.   Fundamentally, an apology is needed when we bring damage, loss or offense to someone.  Whether their loss resembles hurt feelings or damage to something they own or are responsible for it is incumbent on you, as the offender, to lead and make it right.  The problem is that most people don’t do it enough in their professional and personal lives and often, when they do apologize, they do not do it the right way.

Dr. Gary Chapman, New York Times bestselling author of The Five Love Languages, in his resource The Five Languages of Apology in the Workplace has this to say: “Creating a positive emotional work environment enhances the productivity of employees.  Thus, a company that has the vision not only of apologizing to customers and clients but teaching employees how to apologize effectively to one another is the company that is most likely to succeed in accomplishing its financial objectives.”