The Power of Handwritten Communication

Endear Yourself to Your Spouse
I like small decorative hinged boxes.  One such box is open and has cards and notes from my wife to me.  It is in constant view of my desk.  I place each new card in front of the last.  As I look at it now I see the words, “When I think of you…” 
 
There is nothing more personal that we can do for our most important partner in life then to affirm them in writing.  It is really simple to do.  If they take their lunch to work, have you ever slipped in a warm note to surprise them later?  A card on their pillow is a great way to end their day.  Also, a note in a suitcase will encourage them when they travel.
Children Love It

Children love to receive handwritten communication as well.  I remember a time when I was separated from my kids and I would write them cards telling them that I was thinking about them.  There were also occasions when I praised them for a particular character quality or acknowledged a special accomplishment. The handwritten note increased the impact of my affirmation.

Handwritten communication is a powerful tool.  It is:

1. Personal.  It is direct, requires no intervention of another, and separates you out from all others.
2. Purposeful.  There is nothing ambiguous about a written note.  It is totally intentional.  The person delivering the message is “all in” concerning the relationship.
3. Perpetual.  Personal written communication lives on long after it is delivered. It stays fresh, you can reread it, relive it and it is never lost.

Who can you reach out to today with a handwritten greeting, comment or encouragement?  My suggestion is that you start with family, then friends and finally coworkers.  Your affirmation will blow them away!

It was Johann Wolfgang von Goethe who put it simply, "Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them."

An Affirming Boss
Affirming people through thoughtful handwritten communication is such a powerful and effective tool for relating to one another.  I once had a boss who kept a stack of note cards in his desk and regularly wrote notes to thank his employees.  The one I received motivated me to do the same for those who reported to me.  The impact was huge.  It was far greater than if I had sent them an email with the same words. 

Ralph Marston puts it this way, "Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return."

Something Really Unexpected
I recently had a wonderful experience with the power of a handwritten note.  Recently I had to have eye surgery.  While in many ways it was routine, I was a bit freaked out as it was “eye” surgery.  I took great pains to select a competent surgeon.  I primarily used internet resources to gain a sense of his competence.  Well, the day came, and thankfully everything went well.  Now my vision is significantly improved.

Several weeks later a small envelope appeared in our mailbox with the surgeons return address on it.  I assumed it was the bill, but when I opened it my jaw dropped.  It was a handwritten note thanking me for choosing him as my doctor.  I was dumbfounded.  If your experience with medicine has been anything like mine, communication from a doctor or hospital is usually “you still owe us money.” (That came later.) Not once, in my life have I received a personal note from a doctor.  His handwritten note had a huge impact.  Now, even more, I will recommend him to anyone I know who has an eye issue.

Television personality Willie Geist is quoted as saying, "I'm pretty sure people are going to start writing letters again once the email fad passes."  Well the “fad” remains but the power of a hand written note remains as well.

A Pilgrim’s Progress
A picture hung on my living room wall for many years showing a Pilgrim couple landing in the “new world.”  They were walking inland after completing their voyage across the Atlantic.  A closer look revealed that the ship that brought them was heading over the horizon back to England.  It was a stark picture of total commitment without any way out.  I would often stop and look at the scene because it made such a profound statement about life.  You arrive on this planet and you have only one good choice: embrace it, discover why you are here, and courageously move forward.

The Pilgrim couple had come to the “new world” hoping for freedom and a chance to live life without intrusion.  We also know from history that they were ill prepared for what was before them.  They were beset by illness, frigid weather and numerous other setbacks.  Even with the help of the Native Americans the way forward was difficult at best.

Baptism by Fire
This hopeful and likely excited Pilgrim couple was embarking on a “baptism by fire,” they just didn’t know it.  They had much to learn and they were going learn it the hard way.  For them it was no different than a soldier’s first time in battle when his first emotion is fear and his first thought is, “What have I gotten myself into?!”

Perhaps like me, your life has unfolded much like those Pilgrims; a series of opportunities and situations for which you were ill prepared.  Here are a few of my experiences:

• My first radio show when the person who was to coach me that evening did not show up. The clock struck 7 PM and I was on-air by the seat of my pants.
• Numerous management and marketing positions where I was given great responsibility without the promised support.
• Being a father to seven children and constantly learning the right things to do and the wrong things to stop doing.

I could make a much longer list and I suspect that you could too.  It would demonstrate that much of life is a “baptism by fire.”

Ounces of Courage
No one has ever done anything significant without courage.  Some of the most courageous people I have known or read about were those who took a huge step of faith to do something they believed they were put here on earth to do.  One example is the well-known missionary Jim Elliot and his missionaries who lost their lives in the jungles of Ecuador. We might see this as a terrible waist of a life. But, after his death, this entry was found in one of Elliot’s journals: "I seek not a long life, but a full one, like You, Lord Jesus."  Equally courageous was his wife Elizabeth, who later traveled and met with the tribesmen who had killed her husband and completed the work he had started.

We are Like the Pilgrims
Pursuing our destiny is not easy.  It would be so much easier to focus on ourselves the way most people do.  However, when we understand the reason God put us here on this earth, we cannot ignore the assignment because our passions compel us to act.

The same was true for the Pilgrims.  They had to do what they felt called to do, and when the going got tough they had to find courage in the same way we do.  You may be surprised to learn that their experiences and ours are eerily similar.

The Pilgrims sailed in small (60 ft. long) sailing ships, their quarters were cramped and there were no luxuries.  For many, pursuing their destiny, moving forward has required them to downsize their lives, go without past luxuries and for a time, letting life be more Spartan than before.

The Pilgrims experienced furious storms at sea.  For some of us, we too have experienced our own form of storms (setbacks) as we set out to fulfill our passions.

The Pilgrims were abused by the ships crews.  We also sometimes face abuse from friends and family who do not understand why we are heading in new directions different from theirs’s.  Also, some face opposition to their mission because it removes power from an entity that wants to control the same people they are trying to help.

The Pilgrims voyage took longer than expected and because of that their supplies we depleted.  Most who set out to fulfill their destiny find that it takes longer than expected to get from point “a” to point “b.”  Sometimes, like their Pilgrim counterparts, resources (usually time or money) become tight along the way.
The Pilgrims, once in the “new world,” experienced a lack of comfort, had few friends and experienced numerous dangers.  Those seeking a meaningful life many times experience a similar fate.  That is why I always encourage people to never “go it alone,” but to partner with others who share their same vision.

With all this difficulty and hardship you would think that the Pilgrims would have chartered the next boat east.  Surely like the soldier mention earlier, they must have said in a dark moment, “What have I gotten myself in to!” But they did not run.  Oh, they were scared at times but even more than that they were courageous.  They possessed that same courage that rises up in those who pursue their purposes.  You see, we really are like the Pilgrims.

Don’t Accept Average
For many years the picture that hung on my living room wall had a centering effect on me as I contemplated the courage of that young Pilgrim couple.  Many people today simply want to prolong their lives rather than try to find their purpose in life. Certainly, medical science is helping them live longer. What is sad, however, is that these people add years to their lives, but not life to their years.  Should our primary goal be to prolong our lives, or should it be to live life to its fullest?  Whether we are 20 or 80 everyone has a purpose to live out.

We may not wear funny coats and hats, but those who pursue their destiny really are all Pilgrims.  Just like them, most of what we learn in life comes about from a “baptism by fire.”  Life can be full of hardship especially when we live our life for the sake of others.  Courage is the only way forward and it is courage that makes people pursuing their life purposes most like the Pilgrims. 

Success and Failure are Inseparable 
C.S Lewis wrote that, “Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”  A fingerpost is a post bearing one or more signs, often terminating in a pointing finger.  Our failures are finger posts.  They provide needed direction and increase our understanding or knowledge.  So, failure really is a guide and a gateway to success.

As you move forwarding in pursuit of your prize, keep these five realities in mind:

1. Failure increases empathy
2. It is not about other people, you own it
3. Heat assures the outcome
4. Prepare for the recoil 
5. Success and failure are inseparable

In the words of Robert F. Kennedy; “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

Failure Is Not All Bad

Heat Assures the Outcome

My sister-in-law is a sculptor.  She can take a piece of clay and fashion it into a dynamic object.  She first shapes the clay into the object she envisions and then puts it in a 2400 degree oven to strengthen her creation.  Failing in life has similar properties.

When we fail, we need to take the heat and ask ourselves hard questions so we can improve the next time we set out.  Three questions I ask of myself are:

• Did I really give all the effort I could have?
• Did I seek the advice of experts?
• Did I disregard a nagging caution?

In the words of Bill Gates, “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”

Failure is Not Fatal

Failure Increases Empathy 
Failure has been called “The Great Teacher.”  One of the greatest benefits of failure is that it teaches us empathy.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, when he was imprisoned by the Nazi’s wrote, “We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”  Failure gives us more empathy for others who have experienced similar setbacks.   In the form of an equation it would look like this: Humility + Compassion = Empathy.

Have you noticed that most people are not naturally humble and compassionate?  These qualities either have to be modeled to us as we grow up or else we learn them the hard way.

When I was younger I was neither humble nor compassionate.  In those early days my co-workers had two nicknames for me, “steamroller” and “gundalateral.”  I was “steamroller” because I could get things done fast but failed to take into consideration the people who were unfortunate enough to be in my path.  I was “gundalateral” because I thought I knew what was best and didn’t seek the opinion of others.  It was one of my first bosses that gave me that name.  It was later that I learned the hard way, through a series of failures, to be empathetic.

Stephen Covey was right when he said, "When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems."

You Can Be a Famous Failure
He blew up his laboratory and his brother in his quest to develop dynamite. That was one of Albert Nobel’s (most famous for the Nobel Prize) less stellar moments.  I bet you have experienced failure, as well. Aren’t you glad that you did not blow up your brother in the process?

Failure is just a part of life and the world is filled with famous failures.  Here are several examples:

• He was not able to speak until he was almost four years old and his teachers said, “He will never amount to much.” – Albert Einstein

• He was fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination” and “having no original ideas.” – Walt Disney

• She was demoted from her job as a news anchor because “she wasn’t fit for television.” – Oprah Winfrey

• They were rejected by the largest music distributers of their day.  The recording studio said, “We don’t like their sound – they have no future in show business.” – The Beatles

• At the age of 30 he was depressed, having been fired as the head of company he had started. – Steve Jobs

• After being cut from his high school basketball team he went home locked himself in his room and cried. – Michael Jordan

Winston Churchill was right when he said, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

What Can We Learn from a Fifth Century Persian?

Nehemiah’s Vision
 
We can learn much about vision from a study of Nehemiah, the fifth century high official in the Persian court of King Artaxerxes I.  His vision was for the city of Jerusalem; which during its history was destroyed twice, besieged 23 times, attacked 52 times, and captured and recaptured 44 times.  Nehemiah’s story has at its core every element related to vision.   He envisioned rebuilding the wall surrounding the city that had been destroyed by an invader and left in shambles by apathetic citizens.  In the Book of Nehemiah we see: 

• Vision Formed – he was compelled to rebuild the wall.
• Vision Shared – he asked the king for permission to do so.
• Vision Acted On – he organized others to help him in the task.
• Vision Resisted – the “good old boy” network mocked him and tried to stop him.
• Vision Completed – Jerusalem’s wall stood once again.

It was Jack Welch who said, “Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion.”  So, what is your vision?  What do you see?  What do you think about that could be or should be?”  Before you make any plans spend time seeking vision. 

Your Vision will be Challenged
 
I have seen all too frequently people with vision face serious opposition.  Vision has a way of making controlling people nervous and insecure people angry.  You may remember 15-year old Malala Yousafzai, the Pakistani teenager shot in the head by the Taliban, for promoting “Western thinking.”  Thankfully she recovered and has remained a courageously advocate.

She is not alone. Only a few hundred years before scientists were threatened with retribution, even death, for envisioning “ridiculous” things like the earth being round, and that the sun was at the center of our solar system.  Author Chuck Swindoll asserts, “You haven’t really led until you have become familiar with the stinging barbs of the critic. For the leader, opposition is inevitable.”

Also, failed plans do not mean that your vision has failed.  John C. Maxwell writes, "Failed plans should not be interpreted as a failed vision. Visions don't change, they are only refined. Plans rarely stay the same, and are scrapped or adjusted as needed. Be stubborn about the vision, but flexible with your plan."

How to Practice Vision
 
When I coach business people and individuals on the importance of vision, I tell them to start their visionary thoughts with the words “I see…”  “I see…” statements are followed by vision thoughts that are:

• Intense – vision invokes strong feelings.
• Personal – vision is unique to the one envisioning.
• Vivid – vision often takes on the properties of a mental picture.
• Passionate – vision is something that we must do. 

Stepping back and contemplating vision has birthed businesses, started great philanthropic works and helped people like you and I understand our own personal life mission. Jonathan Swift wrote “Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.”  Jack Welch has this to say, "Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion."

I have found this process to be nothing short of POWERFUL!

Beginning to Dream
 
Michael Hyatt wrote an article describing his journey of taking a struggling company from an “ash heap” to a place of success.  He acknowledges his natural bent to think too small. He says, “Through the years, I had learned that if you think about strategy (the “how”) too early, it will actually inhibit your vision (the “what”) and block you from thinking as big as you need to think.” … “The problem is that people get stuck on the how. They don’t see how they could accomplish more, so they throttle back their vision, convinced that they must be “realistic.” 

Taking Hyatt’s advice, to dream big we need to discipline ourselves to focus more on the “what” instead of the “how.”  The level of discipline to do so varies from person to person depending on their personality type.  As an example, I must be very disciplined because I am a strategic thinker. I must resist the temptation to jump prematurely to strategy.  People with personalities different from mine find it easier to focus on the “what” and avoid jumping to the “how.” 

Harriet Tubman’s famous quote is great motivation to dream; "Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

What Do You See?
Vision is a picture of what we believe the future will look like.  It is a reality that we anticipate and a belief about what should be.  While I have led organizations and individuals through the steps of strategic planning for some time, the issue of vision is a more recent discovery for me. 

I have learned that while an organization or person may have a plan for success, if I have them place a greater focus on vision, their strategy becomes better and they are more successful.

In the words of Warren Bennis, "Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality."

Don't Neglect This Important Step

Commit to Reflect and Reward
Once the task is completed, stop and observe what has been accomplished.  Take some time to enjoy the “fruits of your labor.”  Allow yourself to feel a sense of triumph and pride.

Next, evaluate what you have learned and decide what you will do differently next time.  Conducting a postmortem will improve your future performance.

Now, what was the nice thing you had planned to do to reward yourself, your family or your team?  This “reward time” is where you celebrate the great work done by all.  Having a reward planned before you at the start is also useful throughout the process to provide motivation and encouragement when things are not going well.

Finally, wait a minute; celebrating failure removes fear? Sabastian Thrun says so.  "It's important to celebrate your failures as much as your successes. If you celebrate your failures really well, and if you get to the motto and say, 'Wow, I failed, I tried, I was wrong, I learned something,' then you realize you have no fear, and when your fear goes away, you can move the world." Now that’s revolutionary thinking!

Commit to Plan a Strategy, Set "Time Frame" Goals and Risk
The strategy is best planned with the participation of everyone who will be involved in the project.  Write down the steps necessary to be successful and identify who will be responsible for each part.  

Determine a completion date for every component of the project.  Remember that some dates established at the beginning of the project will be unattainable and will need to be adjusted.

A strategy not only requires deadlines but also interim dates for progress checks. Establish predetermined interim points along the way to evaluate progress. Be ready to make changes.  Always be focused as well as flexible as you will inevitably face obstacles and delays.

Also, be a reasonable risk taker because taking no risk is the greatest risk of all.  Here Mark Zuckerberg has some good advice; "The biggest risk is not taking any risk... In a world that changing really quickly, the only strategy that is guaranteed to fail is not taking risks."

It Starts With A Commitment
To prevail means “to be greater in strength and influence.”  While many of us ultimately rely on a strength greater than ourselves, success still calls for an unqualified personal dedication and determination. Don’t start anything significant unless you are committed to prevailing. Too much will have been invested and too many lives involved for you to turn back.

Prevailing also requires a commitment of time and energy.  The reality is that most ventures require more time and energy than anticipated.  To prevail means that we will invest the time, no matter how much it takes, to reach the goal.

Remember also that to prevail, what we are doing must agree with our personal values. The benefit of succeeding must be meaningful to you, and if you are leading a group, to those that labor with you.  Ask yourself and those you will be relying upon whether life will be better as a result.  You must believe that the benefit is worth the cost.

In the words of General Colen Powell, "If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception; it is a prevailing attitude."

PRINCIPLES FOR PREVAILING

Facing Our Own Ocean

"That is where the explorer Vasco de Gama learned to sail.”  My friend told me that as we looked down on a small sandy bay filled with colorful fishing boats in Sines, Portugal. Later that day, we traveled north to Lisbon where the Sea Discoveries Monument honors the voyagers who, 500 years earlier, departed Lisbon harbor and set-out in search of places no European had ever been before.

No other professional has faced more risk and uncertainty then an explorer.  Considering what these travelers faced can give us insight for our own challenges. So, what were the obstacles faced by Columbus, de Gama and the other explorers?

We all sometimes feel like a small ship on a big ocean.  Columbus’s favorite ship Nina was only 65 feet long. That’s only a few feet more than the distance from home plate to a pitcher’s mound.  Columbus also faced some significant obstacles:

• Not enough money. If not for the King and Queen of Spain, Columbus’s journey would never have happened.
• Lack of provisions.  An explorer's first expenses went toward obtaining ships and crew.  Whatever was left was used to purchase food and drink.
• No maps.  That’s right…nobody had ever been there before.
• Productivity lost to sickness.  Cramped quarters were stressful and promoted a breeding ground for disease.
• A frightened crew asking questions like, "So Captain, since you’ve never been there, how will you know you are at the right place when you see it?”
• Crew revolt.  Months of not seeing the fruits of success made for tense times to say the least. Mutinies or near insurrections were not uncommon.

Each of the obstacles that were faced by these voyagers parallels the challenges we encounter in our personal life planning, starting new ventures or growing an existing organization. Christopher Columbus put it this way, “By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.”

Good Leaders Value People
Barry-Wehmiller Companies, Inc. is a global supplier of manufacturing technology.  At the beginning of “the great recession” in 2008 they saw their orders fall by almost one-third.  They contemplated layoffs but instead decided to institute a furlough program so that no one lost their job but everyone “participated in the suffering.”  They acted like a family, not an institution.  A look at one sentence in their statement of values sums it up when it says, "We measure success by the way we touch the lives of people."

Fair and sometimes heroic actions, during a crisis, result from a strong belief system.  That is the essence of great leadership.  Danger may be all around, however, people are safe.  In the words of Robert Townsend, who transformed Avis into a rental car giant, “True leadership must be for the benefit of the followers, not the enrichment of the leaders.  A leader is … someone who carries water for his people so that they can get on with their jobs.”

Cheryl Bachelder characterizes good leadership this way, “Leadership is not about your ambition. It is about bringing out the ambitions of your team.”

Lead from a Principled Heart

The best leadership comes from a principled heart.  Principles are our moral beliefs about right and wrong.  A good leader must base his actions on something bigger than himself.  To do that he or she must take time to determine their values.  

Values are simply the things you value ...  those things and attributes that “must be.”  They are a heart attitude that is the most fundamental definition of who we are.  

Max Depree, former CEO of Herman Miller says, “Leadership is much more an art, a belief, a condition of the heart, than a set of things to do. The visible signs of artful leadership are expressed, ultimately, in its practice.” 

Leadership Is An Attitude

Leadership is an Attitude Not a Position
We need to understand that leadership is more about attitude and perspective than position.  Stephen R. Covey writes, “Most people think of leadership as a position and therefore don't see themselves as leaders.”  Broadcast industry executive Donald H. McGannon, provides greater focus when he when he defines leadership as ”… action, not position.”

Some of the most compelling examples of leadership take place in many of war’s most brutal theaters.  A 2013 CBS News report describes the actions of Army Captain Will Swenson, who was awarded the Medal of Honor for his heroic actions in Afghanistan.  This is what they reported from their interview with Sargent Kevin Duerst, crew chief of a medevac helicopter:

Sargent First Class Kenneth Westbrook had been hit in the throat and was bleeding to death. Swenson and a medic helped Westbrook into the helicopter. Then, amid the hell of combat, something beautiful happened.  "Sargent Westbrook kind of leaned down and Captain Swenson kind of leaned down and they had, they kind of looked at each other and it appeared that they were talking, but Captain Swenson kissed him on the forehead and then tapped the side of his head," Duerst said.

Later that day, as Duerst and his crew flew in for more wounded soldiers, they observed Swenson under enemy fire aiding wounded Afghan soldiers and searching for four missing Americans.  His final act that day was going forward under fire and recovering the bodies of the four missing Americans.  Swenson leadership was not because of his position but because of his attitude and his values.  It was the right thing and he had to do it.  

Management expert Gary Hamel puts it this way,"Remarkable contributions are typically spawned by a passionate commitment to transcendent values such as beauty, truth, wisdom, justice, charity, fidelity, joy, courage and honor."

Eight steps to great Communication. (A review)
No matter if your audience of one or thousands, or whether your communication is spoken or written, use these principles so that your message is received and remembered. 

1. Know your audience.
2. Balance what you want to say with what they want to hear.
3. Use simple language.
4. Strategically decide whether to write or speak your message.
5. Share personal anecdotes and illustrations.
6. Start strong and end with emotion.
7. Preview, present and recap your message.
8. Use word pictures or other visuals to make it memorable.

Doing so will help achieve your desired result: message received and understood. 

"The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply."  Roy T. Bennett

The Power of Word Pictures

Make Communication Memorable.  
One of the best ways to help people remember your message is through using a word picture.  Winston Churchill did this when he described a communist world that lay behind an “iron curtain.” Hillary Clinton speculated about a “vast, right-wing conspiracy.”  President George W. Bush spoke of an “axis of evil.”   Word pictures are effective because they grab and direct attention and lock thoughts into our memory.  A call to action can be greatly enhanced by the creative use of a word picture.

Other visual devices are also effective in helping us communicate.  An often repeated statistic states that: people remember 40% of what they hear and see, 30% of what they see, 20% of what they hear, and only 10% of what they read. Always reinforce your spoken or written message with something that evokes a mental memory, either through a word picture or a visual image.

"Take advantage of every opportunity to practice your communication skills so that when important occasions arise, you will have the gift, the style, the sharpness, the clarity, and the emotions to affect other people." Jim Rohn