I was not prepared when she said, “Why do you keep expecting them to be different?”
I sat there speechless for a moment and then muttered, “Because I want them to be different.  My life would be better if they were.”  This wise friend made this comment to me when I was experiencing extreme difficulty in a relationship.  Later, as I replayed her comment over and over I kept landing on the word “expecting.”

The kind of “expecting” I was doing was the kind where I wanted to exert my influence in this problem person’s life and produce a different behavior.  You know, trying to control someone else – for good of course.  Oh, don’t act so innocent!  I know that you have done it too.

Beyond a young child, whose behavior can be formed if you start early enough, I sometimes feel that the only thing I can train to respond appropriatly is a dog (certainly not a cat).  That reminds me of the cartoon where the caption read, “To a dog you are a friend but to a cat you are staff.”  Yes, expecting different behavior from other people is like trying to train a cat. (Watch out for the claws!)