What’s the Big Deal?

What’s the Big Deal?

Not apologizing, beyond lacking integrity, can cause you big problems and create strife within your organization.  The big deal is that if you don’t apologize you run the risk of loosing the relationship. Also, by not apologizing you run the risk of creating an enemy who will likely undercut you at every turn.  In addition, if you do not apologize correctly you run the risk of starting an argument and digging an even bigger hole for yourself.  So take the baby steps seriously…they are important.

While “Love means never having to say you are sorry” is a sorry concept, living does offer numerous opportunities for us to correct our blunders.  Oh, I just remembered, I did something to someone that I need to apologize for.   I’ve got to go.  How about you? 

Move on

15.  Move on 

Now it’s time to move forward.  Avoid the human tendency to play things over in your head again and again.  Don’t beat yourself up.  It’s over.  Now act like it. 
(To be continued.)

What can I do?

14.  What can I do?   

Here’s an old fashioned concept: Restitution.  Ask them what you can do to make it up to them.  If restitution is appropriate do more then they ask or expect.  Restitution will make your apology even more genuine. 
(To be continued.)

Give them room

13.  Give them room

What if they can’t accept your apology?  Accept them where they are and give them time.  Ask if perhaps you could get together at a later date.  Remember that even if you do your best you cannot control their response.
(To be continued.)

Ask forgiveness

12.  Ask forgiveness

This is powerful!  Akin with humility, lowering yourself to ask forgiveness proves our genuineness.  It is also powerful for the other person because if they can accept your apology and forgive you, then they are unconditionally releasing you.  The relationship will likely experience a large growth spurt and there will be no residual awkwardness. 
(To be continued.)

Is this a good time?

11.  Is this a good time?

Submit your request to speak to the one you have wronged.  Give them the right to schedule another time.  This conversation needs to be on their terms and within their comfort level. 
(To be continued.)

Rehearse it

10.  Rehearse it

Briefly rehearse what you want to say.  Writing it down can help order your thoughts and communicate clearly to the one you have harmed. 
(To be continued.)

No excuses

9.  No excuses

Remember the comic Flip Wilson and his famous line “The devil made me do it”.  Unfortunately, Flip was wrong.  The only thing we can truly control is ourselves.  When apologizing make no excuses.   
(To be continued.)

Own it

8.  Own it

By your demeanor, tone of voice and eye contact show the seriousness with which you regard what you did to the offended party.  If appropriate, extend your hand or perhaps touch their shoulder to further communicate that you understand the gravity of your failure.
(To be continued.)