Success and Failure are Inseparable 

C.S Lewis wrote that, “Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”  A fingerpost is a post bearing one or more signs, often terminating in a pointing finger.  Our failures are finger posts.  They provide needed direction and increase our understanding or knowledge.  So, failure is a guide and a gateway to success. 

As you move forwarding in pursuit of your prize, keep these five realities in mind:

1.   Failure increases empathy

2.   It is not about other people, you own it

3.   Heat assures the outcome

4.   Prepare for the recoil 

5.   Success and failure are inseparable

 

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”                   

Robert F. Kennedy

Can You Take the Heat?

 Heat Assures the Outcome

My sister-in-law is a sculptor.  She can take a piece of clay and fashion it into a dynamic object.  She first shapes the clay into the object she envisions and then puts it in a 2400 degree oven to strengthen her creation.  Failing in life has similar properties. 

When we fail, we need to take the heat and ask ourselves hard questions so we can improve the next time we set out.  Three questions I ask of myself are:

• Did I really give all the effort I could have?
• Did I seek the advice of experts?
• Did I disregard a nagging caution?

In the words of Bill Gates, “It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”

 

Failure Makes You More Likable

 Failure Increases Empathy 

Failure has been called “The Great Teacher.”  One of the greatest benefits of failure is that it teaches us empathy.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, when he was imprisoned by the Nazi’s wrote, “We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”  Failure gives us more empathy for others who have experienced similar setbacks.   In the form of an equation it would look like this: Humility + Compassion = Empathy.

Have you noticed that most people are not naturally humble and compassionate?  These qualities either have to be modeled to us as we grow up or else we learn them the hard way. 

When I was younger I was neither humble nor compassionate.  In those early days my co-workers had two nicknames for me, “steamroller” and “gundalateral.”  I was “steamroller” because I could get things done fast but failed to take into consideration the people who were unfortunate enough to be in my path.  I was “gundalateral” because I thought I knew what was best and didn’t seek the opinion of others.  It was one of my first bosses that gave me that name.  It was later that I learned the hard way, through a series of failures, to be empathetic.

 

"When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems." Stephen Covey

 

Famous and a Failure?

 You Can Be a Famous Failure

He blew up his laboratory and his brother in his quest to develop dynamite. That was one of Albert Nobel’s (most famous for the Nobel Prize) less stellar moments.  I bet you have experienced failure, as well. Aren’t you glad that you did not blow up your brother in the process? 

Failure is just a part of life and the world is filled with famous failures.  Here are several examples:

• He was not able to speak until he was almost four years old and his teachers said, “He will never amount to much.” – Albert Einstein

• He was fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination” and “having no original ideas.” – Walt Disney

• She was demoted from her job as a news anchor because “she wasn’t fit for television.” – Oprah Winfrey

• They were rejected by the largest music distributers of their day.  The recording studio said, “We don’t like their sound – they have no future in show business.” – The Beatles

• At the age of 30 he was depressed, having been fired as the head of company he had started. – Steve Jobs

• After being cut from his high school basketball team he went home locked himself in his room and cried. – Michael Jordan

Failure is really not “the end” although it can feel like it.  You can be a famous failure!

 

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill