What I have learned about people and organizations...so far.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Open mouth … insert foot.

Living Means Having to Say You are Sorry

Remember the movie, Love Story and the infamous line “Love means never having to say you’re sorry?”  Two years after that movie premiered, that dialogue was humorously repeated by Barbara Streisand, to its originator Ryan O’Neal in the comedy What’s Up, Doc.  Their conversation went like this:

O’Neal: “I’m sorry.”
Streisand: “But I thought love means never having to say that you are sorry?”
O’Neal: “That’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard!”

(To be continued.)

My experience is that living does mean having to say we are sorry.  Whether you open your mouth and insert your foot, stepped in it, blow it, blow up, are insensitive, say a dumb thing, make a careless mistake or are clueless; you need to apologize.   Fundamentally, an apology is needed when we bring damage, loss or offense to someone.  Whether their loss resembles hurt feelings or damage to something they own or are responsible for it is incumbent on you, as the offender, to lead and make it right.  The problem is that most people don’t do it enough in their professional and personal lives and often, when they do apologize, they do not do it the right way.

Dr. Gary Chapman, New York Times bestselling author of The Five Love Languages, in his resource The Five Languages of Apology in the Workplace has this to say: “Creating a positive emotional work environment enhances the productivity of employees.  Thus, a company that has the vision not only of apologizing to customers and clients but teaching employees how to apologize effectively to one another is the company that is most likely to succeed in accomplishing its financial objectives.”