“Is that your final answer?”

How You Can Have Effective Donor and Personal Relationships: “Is that your final answer?” (Conclusion)

There really is only one key to effective donor and personal relationships. Study and practice to become an accomplished listener.  If you do, it will be like music to their ears.

The right to be introduced to their friends.

How Can You Benefit from Becoming an Accomplished Listener?

Part 4.

Finally, becoming an accomplished listener earns the right to be introduced to their friends.  When a donor allows you entrance to their circle of friendships and associations you know you have truly been taken in as a trusted friend. Now, you have the opportunity to expand your donor base by becoming an accomplished listener to this new connection.  (To be continued.)

The privilege of access into their hopes and dreams.

How Can You Benefit from Becoming an Accomplished Listener?

Part 3.

Becoming an accomplished listener eventually affords us the privilege of access into their hopes and dreams.  This is a place where few are allowed to enter. Only trusted people get in.  Think about your own life and the handful of people who you have opened up to on this intimate level.  As accomplished listeners, it is here that we learn about the legacy they wish to leave.  Knowing how a donor wants to be remembered is very personal information and deserves our reverence.  (To be continued.)

Matching donor interests with organizational needs.

How Can You Benefit from Becoming an Accomplished Listener?

Part 2.

Becoming an accomplished listener helps us thrive at matching donor interests with organizational needs. Through deliberate listening, we understand how a person has lived their life so far which tends to be an indicator of how they will live life in the future.  We get to know their hobbies, family, team loyalties and foods they like.  We learn where they served or volunteered and why they invested there.  All of this information is critical to truly knowing their deepest motivations so that we can influence and direct their giving with integrity.  (To be continued.)

Discern what is truly valuable to donors.

How Can You Benefit from Becoming an Accomplished Listener?

Part 1.

Becoming an accomplished listener enables us to discern what is truly valuable to donors.  A few years ago, I was working for a graduate level educational institution.  I had had several meetings with a particular donor and at each meeting they inquired as to “how the students were doing.”  Sensing their interest in the well being of the students I suggested the possibility of establishing a scholarship fund.  The donor was delighted and excited that they could provide funds specifically for the tuition costs of deserving students.    (To be continued.)

Do You Want to Become an Accomplished Listener? Review:

Do You Want to Become an Accomplished Listener?

Review:

1. It’s not about you!  Put your agenda aside.

2. Come to the conversation intending to give - not to get.

3. Hear not just words but listen to the total message.

4. Give your undivided attention.

5. Look at the speaker directly.

6. “Listen” to their body language.

7. Show your attention by using your own body language. Sparingly nod, smile or use verbal comments like “yes” and “uh huh.”

8. Draw out the speaker by asking clarifying questions “What do you mean when you say…”? 

9. Reflect on what has been said by briefly summarizing. “What I’m hearing is…” and “Sounds like you are saying…” 

10. Withhold judgment or opinion. (To be continued.)

Withhold judgment

Do You Want to Become an Accomplished Listener?

10. Withhold judgment or opinion. (To be continued.)

Reflect

Do You Want to Become an Accomplished Listener?

9. Reflect on what has been said by briefly summarizing. “What I’m hearing is…” and “Sounds like you are saying…”  (To be continued.)

Ask clarifying questions.

Do You Want to Become an Accomplished Listener?

8. Draw out the speaker by asking clarifying questions “What do you mean when you say…”?  (To be continued.)

Show your attention ...

Do You Want to Become an Accomplished Listener?

7. Show your attention by using your own body language. Sparingly nod, smile or use verbal comments like “yes” and “uh huh.” (To be continued.)