It is Lonely at the Top.
I have spent most of my life leading organizations and developing people. I have loved my work, but as a “D” personality, who isn’t supposed to need compliments, I too have enjoyed an occasional compliment made by someone I work with. I am not referring to one of those “kissing up” compliments someone makes in the presence of other coworkers that intimates something like, “See, the boss and I are really close.” What has meant a lot to me, as a leader, is when someone I have guided has expressed appreciation because I showed confidence in them and helped them grow. No supervisor receives a greater compliment then someone saying, “I would not be where I am today without your help.” For me, that kind of a compliment is as good as it gets. It makes me feel like Mark Twain who said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Different Strokes for Different Folks.
The need to receive compliments has a lot to do with our personality. When I coach people in the GPS curriculum, which helps people discover the next steps for their life, one of the first things they learn is what type of personality they have been given. If you are familiar with the DISC personality profile, you know there are four distinct personality types. “D” dominance, “I” influence, “S” steadiness and “C” contentiousness. If someone is a “D” or “C” personality, they appreciate but do not need compliments. They do well with or without them. On the other hand, “I” and “S” personality types need compliments to feel good about themselves. In their case it is also important to differentiate between the two personalities. This is important because an “I” who demonstrates enthusiasm, and is energetic and full of life likes to be complimented publicly. On the other hand an “S” who is warm, relational, a team player, and hesitant to lead needs compliments, but prefers to receive them privately.
The need to receive compliments has a lot to do with our personality. When I coach people in the GPS curriculum, which helps people discover the next steps for their life, one of the first things they learn is what type of personality they have been given. If you are familiar with the DISC personality profile, you know there are four distinct personality types. “D” dominance, “I” influence, “S” steadiness and “C” contentiousness. If someone is a “D” or “C” personality, they appreciate but do not need compliments. They do well with or without them. On the other hand, “I” and “S” personality types need compliments to feel good about themselves. In their case it is also important to differentiate between the two personalities. This is important because an “I” who demonstrates enthusiasm, and is energetic and full of life likes to be complimented publicly. On the other hand an “S” who is warm, relational, a team player, and hesitant to lead needs compliments, but prefers to receive them privately.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Aren’t You Going to Say Something Nice About Me?
A business associate used to humorously illustrate this point. He would approach a coworker and pay them a sincere compliment and then would pause and not say anything for a moment. Then he would look them in the eye and say, “Now aren’t you going to say something nice about me?” Through his antics he made the point that we love to be complimented but most of us don’t return the favor.
A business associate used to humorously illustrate this point. He would approach a coworker and pay them a sincere compliment and then would pause and not say anything for a moment. Then he would look them in the eye and say, “Now aren’t you going to say something nice about me?” Through his antics he made the point that we love to be complimented but most of us don’t return the favor.
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