Finding Peace and Letting Go

Peace 

Rudy Giuliani in his book “Leadership” describes how he had to stay calm in the face of fear on September 11, 2001.  Because others were watching him and gauging their emotions on what they saw in him, his projecting peace was critical to thousands of other New Yorkers.

While we may not have as large an audience, our visible irritability does affect those in our corner of the marketplace and every place.  Every day we face numerous opportunities to loose our peace.  When we do, for the sake of others, it is critical that we adopt a poker face and avoid dumping our problem on others like a cooler filled with Gatorade.  There really is peace in learning to control our emotions, dealing with what we can deal with and forgetting the rest. 

Letting Go

Think about the most unpleasant relationship you have ever had.  Maybe it was a coworker, former spouse, or a rebellious child.  Did you ever catch yourself keeping a mental count of all the times they had hurt or disappointed you?  I have found that there is great virtue in not counting but instead letting go.

Think about it.  What besides an ulcer do you gain from keeping track of all that bad stuff?  Maybe a migraine headache?  Most bad things others do to us, from something stupid to something deliberate and calculated, are best handled when we let go.
 

Moderation in Conversation

Have you ever had lunch with someone you want to get to know and they spend the whole meal talking about themselves and their accomplishments?

If you are like me, you wanted to learn about their life but you wanted them to learn about yours too. Boasting, bragging or monopolizing in conversation is a relationship killer.

A good test as to whether there is moderation in your conversation is to look to see who has eaten the most food. If your plate is much fuller then your guests, then you are talking too much and asking too few questions.

In the words of John Wayne, "Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much."

Celebrate Often

Celebration 

When things are not going well, the last situation we want to be faced with is interacting with someone who is experiencing life’s great blessings.  Isn’t it interesting that when we are down we frequently face this scenario?

It is hard to celebrate someone else’s success when we feel unsuccessful.  When this is our reality we must reject the temptation to be jealous and act in their best interest.  We don’t want people to pull us down when we are flying high and we shouldn’t do it to them either.  Plus, the consequence of not celebrating with them can cause a loss of relationship.

Plan your own celebrations as well.  For example, where  you take on a significant task and complete it successfully reward yourself.  Also, at the end of the day reflect on the contributions you made to others and celebrate having improved their day.