I Feel Your Pain

Former President Bill Clinton was very effective with his “I feel your pain” word track during his bid for the presidency.  Many people were in economic distress at that time and they responded to his claim of empathy. 

Our first job with a hurting associate, friend or neighbor is not to solve their problem.  The job is instead to listen and feel.  But before we can show empathy we need to have enough intimacy to know what is going on in their lives.  Feeling someone’s pain means being in it with them.  The well known Bible verse on “love” states that real love “bears all things… (and) endures all things.”  Bearing and enduring are the heavy lifting of relationships.  Yes, it is hard work but it is well worth the effort. 

People in pain first and foremost need us to be a friend to them.  James Taylor penned the words to a song this way: “When you’re down and troubled - and you need a helping hand - and nothing, no nothing is going right - call my name and think of me - and soon I will be there to brighten up you’re your darkest hour.”  Cheesy? No, true.

(To be continued.)

Pay the Man

Another reason our relationships fail is that we fail to invest time and attention.  A relationship is like an investment.  When we put money into a stock we expect we will receive a dividend.  In relationships it is time and attention that are the funding source.  When we take time and pay attention the relationship grows and we receive a benefit.  If we do not invest there is no possibility of reaping a dividend.   

(To be continued.)

You’ve lost that Lovin' Feeling

When I was a little kid growing up in the 60’s all of the other neighborhood children were much older than me.  They were all playing rock and roll on their radios and record players.  One of my favorite songs of that era was by the Righteous Brothers entitled “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.”   Being casual with a relationship will definatly cause that “lovin feeling to wane.  To protect our relationships we need to remember that people are valuable and we should treat them with care.  We take care of our homes and our cars so why not our relationships?   Like Coach Walsh said, carelessness is always at the center of relationship problems.

(To be continued.)