Success and Failure are Inseparable 
C.S Lewis wrote that, “Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.”  A fingerpost is a post bearing one or more signs, often terminating in a pointing finger.  Our failures are finger posts.  They provide needed direction and increase our understanding or knowledge.  So, failure really is a guide and a gateway to success.

As you move forwarding in pursuit of your prize, keep these five realities in mind:

1. Failure increases empathy
2. It is not about other people, you own it
3. Heat assures the outcome
4. Prepare for the recoil 
5. Success and failure are inseparable

In the words of Robert F. Kennedy; “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

Failure Is Not All Bad

Heat Assures the Outcome

My sister-in-law is a sculptor.  She can take a piece of clay and fashion it into a dynamic object.  She first shapes the clay into the object she envisions and then puts it in a 2400 degree oven to strengthen her creation.  Failing in life has similar properties.

When we fail, we need to take the heat and ask ourselves hard questions so we can improve the next time we set out.  Three questions I ask of myself are:

• Did I really give all the effort I could have?
• Did I seek the advice of experts?
• Did I disregard a nagging caution?

In the words of Bill Gates, “It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”

Failure is Not Fatal

Failure Increases Empathy 
Failure has been called “The Great Teacher.”  One of the greatest benefits of failure is that it teaches us empathy.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer, when he was imprisoned by the Nazi’s wrote, “We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do, and more in the light of what they suffer.”  Failure gives us more empathy for others who have experienced similar setbacks.   In the form of an equation it would look like this: Humility + Compassion = Empathy.

Have you noticed that most people are not naturally humble and compassionate?  These qualities either have to be modeled to us as we grow up or else we learn them the hard way.

When I was younger I was neither humble nor compassionate.  In those early days my co-workers had two nicknames for me, “steamroller” and “gundalateral.”  I was “steamroller” because I could get things done fast but failed to take into consideration the people who were unfortunate enough to be in my path.  I was “gundalateral” because I thought I knew what was best and didn’t seek the opinion of others.  It was one of my first bosses that gave me that name.  It was later that I learned the hard way, through a series of failures, to be empathetic.

Stephen Covey was right when he said, "When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That's when you can get more creative in solving problems."