Look for the Good. 

We have heard it said that we should compliment ten times to every time we criticize.  We also know that this is admittedly hard to do in some relationships.  Some people are just plain difficult!  Who is the one person in your life that rubs you the wrong way, but whom you cannot avoid?  We all have one.  Compliment them?  No, I am not kidding. Yes, you can do it.  There is always something that you can find in someone to compliment. I’m not saying it will spring into your mind immediately, but no one is without some worth.  No one on your list of relationships should be excluded from those you are responsible to compliment.
 

There are three components to delivering a good compliment:
1. Make it Personal.
Use the persons name when paying a compliment.  Someone’s name is the most personal thing about them.  It reinforces that they are individually being singled out for recognition.
2. Be Specific.
What did the person do that was good or important?  Tell them the action they took that caught your attention.
3. Share the Result.
What was the impact of what they did?  Be specific about the affect their performance had on you, others or the organization.

Here is an example: “Mary, I want to compliment you on the way you kept your cool with that difficult customer.  You hung in there with them and earned their confidence.” 

It is Lonely at the Top.

I have spent most of my life leading organizations and developing people.  I have loved my work, but as a “D” personality, who isn’t supposed to need compliments, I too have enjoyed an occasional compliment made by someone I work with.  I am not referring to one of those “kissing up” compliments someone makes in the presence of other coworkers that intimates something like, “See, the boss and I are really close.”  What has meant a lot to me, as a leader, is when someone I have guided has expressed appreciation because I showed confidence in them and helped them grow.  No supervisor receives a greater compliment then someone saying, “I would not be where I am today without your help.”   For me, that kind of a compliment is as good as it gets. It makes me feel like Mark Twain who said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”